When there are arguments among relatives, friends or colleagues, and their behavior differs from yours, the best thing to do is to look on the other person as part of yourself, another part that is unknown to you at that moment, but one that life wants to spotlight.
What should I think? I must think that while I am expressing myself and/or taking action, I do so in good faith.
This is the premise because if I am not in good faith then it doesn’t work.
I am in good faith so I uphold what I think, my position and my beliefs. I must also presume that the other person is also in good faith, even if his attitude is different to mine.
If I look on the person I come up against as another part of me, ( remember we are part of a Whole and so within us exists everything, and every kind of attitude) then I will not insist on trying to change the opinions of this person, I will only try to understand if his opinions could modify or influence my own way of thinking.
When I have analyzed this, and concluded that his ideas are alien to me, then I strengthen my own way of being. In this way I have “removed” and made “fluid” the situation, without presuming to say I am right, and I have made my way of thinking, and being so much stronger.
If this doesn’t happen because the other person thinks that there is a reason why I have not shown that I agree with his ideas, or because it bothers me, or I think of it as as conceding defeat, or because I am trying to exploit the situation, then I must change my way of being,
In this situation one needs to be very careful: the interrogator must only be MYSELF.
I cannot think or believe that the person has certain intentions unless I really know.
I cannot say: he is right but should have expressed himself differently, he always says the same things and wants to have the upper hand………
It is not true because criticizing this person, I myself want the upper hand and I am only trying to justify my position.
Whether something is said in one way or another, shouldn’t bother me, it belongs to the other person, the context belongs to me, without suppositions or being judgmental in this reality, I MUST be able to modify my own reality.
Having said all this, nothing remains, as it is Life that has created this confrontation, this contact with the other person has happened so that I can learn and improve myself.
If the other person continues in the same way, his betterment is a problem that has nothing to do with me.